What If You Can't Speak English

>>There was a Chinese lady married to an English gentleman and they
>>lived in
>>London. The poor lady was not very proficient in English, but
>>managed
>>somehow to communicate with her husband. The real problem arose
>>whenever she
>>had to shop for groceries.
>>
>>One day, she went to the butcher and wanted to buy pork legs. She
>>didn't
>>know how to put forward her request, and in desperation, lifted up
>>her skirt
>>to show her thighs. The butcher got the message and the lady went
>>home with
>>pork legs.
>>
>>The next day, she needed to get chicken breasts. Again, she didn't
>>know how
>>to say, and so she unbuttoned her blouse to show the butcher her
>>breast. The
>>lady got what she wanted.
>>
>>The third day, the poor lady needed to buy sausages. She brought
>>her husband
>>to the store..... so what did?
>>??
>>??
>>??
>>??
>>??
>>??
>>??
>>??
>>??
>>??
>>??
>>??
>>??
>>What are you thinking?
>>??
>>??
>>??
>>??
>>??
>>??
>>??
>>HellOOOooooooOOOooo, her husband speaks English!!

The Don

The Don

> > An old Italian Mafia Don is dying and he calls his
> > grandson
> > to his bed.
> >
> >
> >
> > "Lissin-a me. I wanna for you to taka my chrome
> > plated
> > 38 revolver so you will always remember me."
> >
> >
> >
> > "But grandpa, I really don't lika guns.
> >
> >
> > Howzabout you leava me your Rolex watch instead?"
> >
> >
> >
> > "Shuddup an lissin. Somma day you gonna runna da
> > business.....you gonna have a beautifula wife, lotsa money,
> > a biga home and maybe a couple a bambinos."
> >
> > "Somma day you gonna comma home and maybe find you
> > wife inna bed with another man. Whadda you gonna do
> > then....... pointa to you watch and say "Times
> > up"?"

HAHAHA

A few years ago, Prime Minister Ahmad was given some basic English conversation training before he visits Washington and meets President Bush.

The instructor told Ahmad; when you shake hand with President Bush, please say ‘how are you’. Then Mr. Bush should say, ‘I am fine, and you?’ Now, you should say ‘me too’. Afterwards we, translators, will do the work for you.’

It looks quite simple, but the truth is…

When Ahmad met Bush, he mistakenly said
‘Who are you ?’

Mr. Bush was a bit shocked but still managed to react with humor.
‘Well, I’m Hillary’s husband, ha-ha…’

Then Ahmad replied
‘me too, ha-ha…’.

Then there was a long silence in the meeting room... =)

Hmmmmm......

MATHS genius turned hooker Sufiah Yusof reveals how she drives men wild... by reciting EQUATIONS to her clients as they have sex.

And the Asian beauty defiantly claims that selling her body for up to £1,000 a time provides her with a far more glamorous life than she ever dreamt of when she went to Oxford University aged just 13.

"My clients love the fact that I can stimulate their minds AND their bodies," she boasts in a shockingly frank interview with the News of the World.



"And I don't believe my education has been wasted—in fact I usually take problem sheets with me to solve before appointments."

Sufiah decided to CONFESS ALL after we revealed how the former child prodigy was working as a £130-an-hour prostitute while studying for a masters in economics.

It is the latest heartbreaking twist to a life that seemed so full of promise—but went tragically wrong when she cracked under the pressure of her bullying father's cruel academic regime and fled university at 15.
<

Eight years on, he is now in jail for sexually assaulting two girl pupils and Sufiah has somehow convinced herself that her seedy new career is the answer to all her problems.

"People think escorting is sleazy and terrible but I don't see it like that," she says. "I've always had a high sex drive—and now I'm getting all the sex I want—and guys are much better in bed with an escort than a girlfriend.

"I have men who are thrilled about my passion for mathematics. In fact one made me recite equations while he pleasured me, then I gave him oral sex while he chatted about algebra. It drove him wild."

And brainbox Sufiah has worked out that subtracting your respectability to become a prostitute can equal big money.
Peeling

"I have a nice life and I am in control," she says. "I hate this stereotype society has of escorts being exploited. It is so far from the truth.

"My clients treat me like a princess. One guy I see in London took me shopping on Bond Street. He bought me a beautiful black Gucci dress for £700 and then took me to Selfridges and told me to pick any handbag I liked."

She chose a £600 Gucci clutch. "I'm a Primark and Topshop girl normally! I felt like Julia Roberts in Pretty Woman.

"Later that night we went for dinner. I wore my Gucci dress and sexy lingerie and took great pleasure in peeling it off for him later on back at his hotel."

Sufiah was working as an administrative assistant earning £ 16,000 a year in Manchester when an escort agency boss approached her in a bar four months ago. She'd run up debts of £3,500 in rent arrears and credit cards.

And she was still haunted by her hellish childhood—subjected to her father Farooq's Accelerated Learning Technique where she studied maths day in day out in rooms kept freezing cold to improve her concentration.

So the big rewards the agency boss promised seemed more than tempting. "I have studied so intensely for so many years I wanted to have fun," she says.

She can't see the sordid side of prostitution—and instead likens herself to Belle De Jour—the saucy hooker played by Billie Piper in the TV drama.

"I'd read Belle De Jour's Diary of a London Call Girl and was fascinated," she said. "When this immaculate lady in a designer suit asked if I had ever considered escorting, I found it appealing.

"I went home, researched agencies on the internet and found one I thought looked professional. I sent them photographs and they put me on their site." A couple of days later Sufiah was offered her first client. She recalls: "I felt quite nervous but excited too. I slipped on some black lace underwear and stockings and suspenders and a dress, and just though, ‘Wow, this is thrilling.'

"He was waiting for me at the bar of the Hilton. I expected him to be older but when I saw him he was lovely.

"He was only in his late 20s, tall and handsome. I thought, ‘I can't believe I'm getting paid to have sex with this man.'

"I'd have been thrilled if he chatted me up in a bar. We had a drink then went upstairs to his room and had fantastic sex. I left that night feeling totally elated having had an amazing time with £250 in my purse." Since then, she has built up a base of regular rich clients and sees between five and ten men each week. Her sugar daddies have treated her to fabulous clothes, designer bags, trips on yachts and even helicopter rides.

Sufiah, whose interview can be seen on video at notw.co.uk, brags that she can earn more than £1,000 in a night by having diner with a client and staying over. "It's like they want to rescue me. One man asked me how much I earned a year. I said £60,000. He told me, ‘I'll pay that amount straight into your bank and buy you a flat and you can be my mistress.'

"But I don't want that because I'm happy doing what I do. Now I wonder if I could go back to a normal relationship, where you watch EastEnders and have boring sex. I've got used to being treated like a princess."

It is as if she has run away from reality—just as she ran away from university and her father's dominance at 15.

Sufiah becomes solemn and subdued when she talks of her upbringing. "As I grew older I began to clash with my father," she says. "He was violent on occasions. Because he pushed me so far academically, I became more confident for a girl of my age. I grew up too quickly.

"From 11, I was studying maths all the time. I didn't have any friends. I wasn't in the Brownies. My father said they didn't teach Muslim values. I hardly ever played with other children."

She passed her maths A level aged 12 and started at St Hilda's College, Oxford. "It was an amazing place but I was too young. By the time I was 15 I wanted to be in control of my life. I fought back."

Sufiah sparked a two week nationwide police hunt when she ran away instead of going home at the end of term, saying she'd "had enough of 15 years of physical and emotional abuse". Her father claimed she had been kidnapped and brainwashed by members of a socialist organisation.

But now, speaking about it for the first time, Sufiah says: "I couldn't bear the thought of going home so I ran away. I'd saved up £200 and found a hostel in London for £14 per night. After a week I moved to a hostel in Bournemouth. I knew I could survive on my own."

When she was found in an internet cafe, Sufiah refused to go home and was placed in foster care by Bournemouth social services. She says: "I stayed with two families who were very good to me. My mum and dad would call me and ask me to go home—but I didn't want to."
Rich

Her 50-year-old father is now in jail for 18 months after being convicted of sexually assaulting two 15-year-old girls he taught at his home in Coventry.

When Sufiah reached 18 she returned to Oxford to continue her studies—and fell in love with fellow student Jonathan Marshall. They married a year later but it barely lasted a year.

"At the time I thought we would be together forever, but we married too young and grew apart," she says.

After the split she moved back to London where she taught maths in the evenings to make ends meet. Then six months ago she moved to Manchester—and stumbled across her new career. "I'm still only young and I can't decide what I want to do," she says. "My escort work provides me with a fabulous life.

"I still enjoy learning and I find it puts me in the right frame of mind for an intelligent conversation with my clients." But she admits not all her sexual encounters work out. "At the end of the day you don't have to sleep with a client if you don't want to. I've done that twice now. Both men were young and very nervous. I just left.

"The dullest client I've ever had was a rich man who talked about cars all night. It was really, really boring."

Sufiah is well aware she could easily find a job in the City where she could match her £60,000 a year sex earnings.

But she said: "I don't want to take anything away from people who do jobs like that but it's not for me. I have a nice life. I don't want for anything."

Her mother Halimahton is now divorcing jailed Farooq and is desperate for her daughter to get in touch with her. "I was shaking when I found out what had become of her," she says.

But talking about her bitter split with her parents, Sufiah says: "I would describe our relationship as estranged.

"I have contact with them occasionally but I couldn't speculate on what they will make of my new life.

"I don't have any regrets. I've never felt more confident about my body and I've had some of the best sex of my life."

5 donts when you're Sleeping

5 donts when you're Sleeping

1 DON'T SLEEP WITH WATCH
Watches can emit a certain level of radioactivity.
Though small, but if you wear your watch to bed
for a long time, it might have adverse effects on your health.

2 DON'T SLEEP WITH BRA
Scientists in America have discovered those that
wear bras for more than 12 hours have
a higher risk of getting breast cancer.
So go to bed without it.

3 DON'T SLEEP WITH PHONE
Putting the phone beside your bed or anywhere
near you is not encouraged.
Though some of us will use phones as alarm clocks,
but please put the phone as far as possible.
Scientists have proved that electrical items including
mobile phone and television sets emit magnetic waves when used.
These waves can cause disruptions to our nervous system.
Therefore if you need to put your mobile phone near you,
switch it off first.

4 DON'T SLEEP WITH MAKE UP
People who sleep with make up might have
skin problems in the long run.
Sleeping with make up will cause the skin to have
difficulty in breathing and problem in perspiring.
You will also need a much longer time to go into deep sleep.

Lastly.....

5 DON'T SLEEP WITH OTHERS' WIFE / HUSBAND
You may never wake up again.

?????!!!!!

In the following pictures, you can see some people having a very strong EXPRESSION.

They seem to be in a very private, personal moment!!!

Can you identify the expression "what it’s all about'?


If you are unable to id this expression, the answer is below.










They are ready to sneeze!!!!!!
But To tell you the truth, I like the way you are thinking........=)

ABG DA POTONG????

bang dah potong? Semua orang dah potong. ..beginilah iklan ISP P1 Wimax. Kelakar juga tagline iklan ni sekali pandang orang ingat potong tu macam berkhatan. haha

Memang jelas P1 cuba "menganjing" pesaing utamanya dalam internet jalur lebar iaitu Streamyx produk dari TM kerana gambarnya yang memotong kabel RJ11 iaitu wayar telefon tetap.



Baguslah kerana dengan ada saingan ISP-ISP tempatan dapat menurunkan caj perkhidmatan mereka. Pada ak apa yang penting ialah kualiti perkhidmatan dan kebolehan melayari internet dengan laju tanpa putus-putus.

Antara komen pngguna 3G broadband Celcom dan streamyx. Broadband Celcom memang tak berapa puas hati servisnya manakala streamyx pula intimitent. Kadang-kadang laju kadang-kadang slow.

Ini adalah satu cabaran bagi TM kerana dalam Bajet 2010 pun PM sudah mengumumkan TM akan memulakan projek jalur lebar berkelajuan tinggi (HSBB) yang bernilai RM11 billion . Kerajaan akan melabur RM2.4 bilion dan TM membiayai bakinya RM8.91 bilion.

HSBB akan memberi speed sehingga 10Mbps kepada pelanggan kediaman dan sehingga 100Mbps kepada pelanggan perniagaan dengan teknologi fiber dan teknologi IP sepenuhnya. Ini adalah tempatnya kerana isu hangat pelabur dari Australia risau dengan keadaan sambungan internet di Malaysia.

Secara overallnya walau pun banyak komplen boleh dikatakan streamyx adalah best of the worst broadband di Malaysia. Lihat tip di isuhangat dulu 'melayari streamyx dengan bijak'

Ok berbalik kepada kempen potong P1 Wimax tadi. Ramai juga yang sudah komplen perkhidmatan P1 ni. Seperti Broadband Celcom, ramai yang mengatakan laju pada mulanya tetapi apabila pertambahan pelanggan mulalah menjadi selowww gila. Sehingga istilah berukband, snailmyx, p1 Why Mek, Max Cis dicipta oleh pelangganyang tidak berpuas hati.

Ni pula iklan TM yang melawan balik iklan kempen potong P1 Wimax:





Kalau dipandang betul-betul, muka mamat ni iras-iras wajah CEO P1 Wimax, Michael Lai



Apa yang diharap ialah jangan berlawan iklan jer . Lawan dengan servis!

Ak pling mnyampah svice yg ad hidden charge ni!!!!!
moral dsini, streamyx mmg SAMPAH!!!!!!!!

luv tragic.....

There is love in the deepest darkness,
There is passion in every soul,
There is a destiny,for every one,
Every angel has to find someone,
To love and to care for,
And we can dream, we can dream,
But one day, our most loved dream, will come true,
And we shall embrace it with our hearts,
We will take hold,and pray it will last forever,
And if our faith, our love is strong enough,
We shall be in heaven, for eternity,
And all our problems,sorrows and fears,
Will fade away,
And we will be entwine,
Forever...

tribute to all GoJiRa scUmBag!!!!!!

Gojira - Ocean Planet

Album: From Mars to Sirius

Lyrics:
I'm in a mental cage,
I'm locked up
Imprisoned I live,
Deathlike, sickening
Strong is your hold
On my resignation
I don't see the stars,
My memories are veiled

In fluid dreams
I fall I'm restless
Walls made of stone
Are turned into water now
Enlightened demons
Are taking me by the hand
Approaching me,
This great eye speaking

Mountainous waves
Are breaking on my despair
Awaken me but I'm still dreaming
And I just plunge
Into this sea of light
Set open the doors of soul
I'm living

Lightning struck me
I see the path I was so scared of
And fly to the stars
Conviction now increasing at last
My skin is broken
I see the smallest part of me
My mind is alive
But I'll never bow to this again

Why do they call me there
How can I fly to
All this water
I don't feel like
I could ever swim to them
Whales in the sky
I feel they're so close
Inside, and yet so far away
Burst into tears, I feel sad
My dreams aflame
The force is now away
Lie on a stone,
Drop this load and cry to see
The ocean planet is on burn

haha

i'm so damn in luv wit diz freakin movies......

i gues i juz luv musical theatre juz now. haha...

checked the no. 18 song in diz movies (by the see). it was so damn kool mate!!!!!

Lyrics :

MRS. LOVETT: (kisses Todd)
Ooh, Mr. Todd! (kiss)
I'm so happy! (kiss)
I could (kiss)
Eat you up, I really could!
You know what I'd like to do, Mr. Todd? (kiss)
What I dream (kiss)
If the business stays as good?
Where I'd really like to go?
In a year or so?
Don't you want to know?

TODD: (spoken)
Of course.

LOVETT:
Do you really want to know?

TODD: (spoken)
Yes. I do.

LOVETT:
By the sea, Mr. Todd, that's the life I covet,
By the sea, Mr. Todd, ooh, I know you'd love it!
You and me, Mr. T, we could be alone
In a house what we'd almost own,
Down by the sea!

TODD:
Anything you say

LOVETT:
Wouldn't that be smashing?

Think how snug it'll be underneath our flannel
When it's just you and me and the English Channel!
In our cozy retreat kept all neat and tidy,
We'll have chums over ev'ry Friday!
By the sea!
Don'tcha love the weather?
By the sea!
We'll grow old together!
By the seaside,
Woo-hoo!
By the beautiful sea!

It'll be so quiet,
That who'll come by it,
Except a seagull
Hoo, hoo!
We shouldn't try it,
Though, 'til it's legal for two-hoo!
But a seaside wedding could be devised,
Me rumpled bedding legitimized!
Me eyelids'll flutter,
I'll turn into butter,
The moment I mutter I do-hoo!

Down by the sea,
Married nice and proper
By the sea
Bring along your chopper
To the seaside hoo hoo!
By the beautiful sea!

TAK naaaaaaaaaaaaaaKKKK.....

P/s: sekadar nasihat pd diri sndri...........=)



katakn xnk ak XMAHU>>>>
XNAK XNAK AK XMAHU...................~

Pesan Nenek........=(

Rambut pendek tersisir rapi
rambut panjang tersimpul mati
pedih kah mata dan hati???
melihat diriku begini..........
kemana hilangnya...., toleransi berdemokrasi.....??
kenali hati jiwa, bukan bodoh rupa!!!
jgn salah menguji....... kasih sesama insan, oi!!!
yg penting saling menhormati......

bukan kata yg diagungkan tp perbuatn jd ukuran....
jujur lah setia bkawan....
Bukan insan meragut insan......
Malaysia maju aman,.......

kan baik begini......
jgn mundurkn lg....., pemikiran rakyat,..
jgn mengasingkn, jgn oh nak hidup sendiri..!!!
jgn oh nak maki!!!! ataupn nak caci!!!!
itu bangsamu sendiri.........................

SPIDER WEBS

those who seek protection and guidance by contacting various forces on the subtle planes of existence, thereby turning the face of their being away from the source of being, are weaving spider webs of etheric energy and attempting to take refuge there. the floating abode of the spiders is the most vulnerable of dwelling places. those who rely for strength on the gossamer web of relatives structures and experience should be meditate on its insubstantiality. Alla most High knows instantly when any being places the slightest spiritual reliance of any limited power or conception, for Allah is boundless and encompassing Awareness.

My beloved, the source of wisdom sends this living parables through you to illumine humanity, but no one can understand them profoundly who has not receive the divine gift of mystical interpretation.

The full spectrum of heavenly and earthly realms radiates from the source of truth as the pure and harmonious expression of Truth. Therefore every being and every event present subtle teachings to those who are turn consciously toward their own TRUE SOURCE.

-- meditation on Holy Koran( 29:41-44) --

DISTURBED ---- STRICKEN!!!!!

You walk on like a woman in suffering
Won't even bother now, to tell me why
You come alone, letting all of us savor the moment
Leaving me broken, another time

You come on like a blood stained hurricane
Leave me alone, let me be this time
You carry on like a holy man pushing redemption
I don't want to mention, the reason I know

That I am stricken and can't let you go
When the heart is cold, there's no hope and we know
That I am crippled by all that you've done
Into the abyss will I run

You don't know what your power has done to me
I want to know if I'll heal inside
I can't go on, with a holocaust about to happen
Seeing you laughing another time

You'll never know why your face has haunted me
My very soul has to bleed this time
Another hole in the wall of my inner defenses
Leaving me breathless, the reason I know

That I am stricken and can't let you go
When the heart is cold, there's no hope and we know
That I am crippled by all that you've done
Into the abyss will I run, into the abyss will I run

You walk on like a woman in suffering
Won't even bother now to tell me why
You come alone, letting all of us savor the moment
Leaving me broken, another time

You come on like a blood stained hurricane
Leave me alone, let me be this time
You carry on like a holy man pushing redemption
Don't want to mention the reason I know

That I am stricken and can't let you go
When the heart is cold there's no hope and we know
That I am crippled by all that you've done
Into the abyss will I run, into the abyss will I run

I can't let you go
Yes I am stricken and can't let you go

dah blk....

akhirnye ak slamat tibe kt sgmat..... alhamdulillah.... byk keje!!!! da abes raye rupenye. xde ape yg menarik pn... ak cume saje jek nak kepoh2 ak da sampai sgmat..... time ksh pade tetuan om sb sudi amek ak mlm td...... =)

....d art of fly fishing....

japanese history of fly fishing.....

The traditional Japanese method of fly-fishing is known as "Tenkara" (Japanese: テンカラ, literally: "from heaven"). The first reference to tenkara fly-fishing was in 1878 in a book called "Diary of climbing Mt. Tateyama".

Tenkara is the only fly-fishing method in Japan that is defined by using a fly and casting technique where the line is what is actually being cast. Tenkara originated in the mountains of Japan as a way for professional fishermen and inn-keepers to harvest the local fish, Ayu, Yamame, Iwana for selling and providing a meal to their guests. Primarily a small-stream fishing method that was preferred for being highly efficient, where the long rod allowed the fisherman to place the fly where the fish would be.

Another style of fishing in Japan is Ayu fishing. As written by historian Andrew Herd, in the book "The Fly", "Fly fishing became popular with Japanese peasants from the twelfth century onward...fishing was promoted to a pastime worthy of Bushi (warriors), as part of an official policy to train the Bushi's mind during peacetime." This refers primarily to Ayu fishing, which commonly uses a fly as lure, uses longer rods, but there is no casting technique required, it's more similar to dapping. Ayu was practiced in the lowlands (foothills), where the Bushi resided, tenkara practiced in the mountains. Fishing flies are thought to have first originated in Japan for Ayu fishing over 430 years ago. These flies were made with needles that were bent into shape and used as fishing hooks, then dressed as a fly. The rods along with fishing flies, are considered to be a traditional local craft of the Kaga region.

In the West, fly-fishing rods were primarily made of wood, which is heavy, so having long rods to reach spots where fish may be was tricky. Anglers started devising running line systems, where they could use shorter rods and longer lines. Eventually this led to the development of reels and the widespread use of shorter rods and reels. In Japan, bamboo, a very light material, was readily available, so anglers could make very long rods without much concern for weight. Fly-fishing remained more pure, as it was in its origins, anglers in Japan could continue using the long rods and did not feel the need to invent running line systems and reels.

methods.....

Tenkara fly-fishing

Tenkara fly fishing

Tenkara fishing (Japanese: テンカラ) is a traditional type of fly-fishing practiced in Japan. Primarily used for small stream trout fishing, tenkara is one of the most popular methods of angling among fresh-water fisherman in Japan. Only a rod, tenkara line and fly are necessary for tenkara fishing (no reel is used). There is also a casting technique necessary for casting the near weightless fly forward, although casting with a tenkara rod is much more intuitive and easier.

In tenkara, the rods are very long and telescopic, usually between 12 - 15ft but collapsing down to about 20 inches or so. The line is attached directly to the tip of the rod. There are also other advantages of using the long tenkara rods when fishing in small streams, primarily the lightness of the line and delicate presentation. A long rod allows for precise placement of the fly on small pools and allows for holding the fly in place on the other side of a current. The other main advantage of using the long tenkara rod is precise control for manipulation of the fly.

The main appeal of tenkara is its simplicity and the fact that one uses the fewest elements to catch fish.

Spey Casting

Spey casting is a casting technique used in fly fishing. Spey casting requires a longer, heavier two-handed fly rod, referred to as a Spey rod. Spey casting is essentially a large roll cast

Spey casting is used for fishing large rivers for salmon and large trout such as steelhead and sea trout. Spey technique is also used in saltwater surf casting. All of these situations require the angler to cast larger flies long distances. The two-handed Spey technique allows more powerful casts and avoids obstacles on the shore by keeping most of the line in front of the angler.

Fly fishing for trout

Fly fishing for trout is a very popular sport, which can be done using any of the various methods and any of the general types of flies. Many of the techniques and presentations of fly fishing were first developed in fishing for trout. There is a misconception that all fly fishing for trout is done on the surface of the water with "dry flies." In most places, especially heavily fished trout areas, success usually comes from fly fishing using flies that were designed to drift on the bottom of the water. A trout feeds at the bottom of a river nearly 90 percent of the time. Trout usually only come to the surface when there is a large bug hatch (when aquatic insects grow wings and leave the water to mate and lay eggs). There are exceptions to this rule, however, particularly during the summer months and on smaller mountain streams Trout anglers should always be prepared with the right flies to match any circumstance.

da nak raye....

da nak raye da rupenye..... hmmmmm..... sronok ke raye??? betul ke raye ni, semua org gembira.... ape yg kte rayekn sebenarnye??? kte rayakan kemenangan kte..... btol ke kte menang..... tah la.... yang pasti ak sendiri xmenang..... ak masih bole raye ke???

semoga ak bole menang taun depan..... klau xdpt menang pn dpt bertarung cam taun ni pn jd la.....harap2 ak msh bole bertarung lg taun depan.......

.......INSYAALLAH.......

me enemy......

.... the spirit i've seen,

may be the devil, and d devil hath power....

t'assume a pleasing shape, yea, and perhaps,

out of my weakness and my melancholy.....

as she is very potent with such spirit,

abuses me to the damn me!!!!!!!!!!

may the word o succeed will owayz b with us.....

..... amend .....

Hamlet(2.2,600-605)

Aku BOSAN!!!!!!!

Ak BOSAN!!!!!!! Ble ak tgk blk artwork lame2 ak rase cm nak men lukis2 blk...... Baru ak sedar...., ak da xbole lukis cm dulu lg.. Dah bape kali da ak try, tp hasilne ttp sampah. Sblum ni ad org penah btau ak, "baik ko simpan artwork ko ni, satu mase nanti ko xkn dapat lukis cmni lg..." Ak rase mase 2 da sampai dah........ Ak da xboleh lg lukis cm dulu..... Rase cm nyesal plak sb xsimpan semua artwork ak yg lame2.. Tp benda dah lps.... Baru2 ni ak dpt offer utk buat graffiti kat dance studio, tp cam tkut lak nak trime. Artwork ak da mcm sampah!!! Klau dulu ak bole buat Graffiti dlm satu 3jam utk satu wall, tp skang ak sendiri pon da xbape pasti..... AAAAARRRRRGHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!! Mungkin ke ak dah membesar??? Ntah...... Yang pasti ak rndu mase dlu2.........

Ak si PenjuAl Persalinan.

Kepade sape2 yg beminat, ak ad jual baju, so sape2 yg bminat bole la hubungi ak secare trus......

kAmi Udang Dan secebis keriangaN.

Pade stu ptg yg xbape nak indah, kami(ak sendiri dan bdk2 umah) tlah memulakan satu misi menyelamat satu bentuk spesis hdupan akuatik yg bernama udang, walaupn spesis tsebut xpnah pon tersenarai dlm spesis yg diancam kepupusan. Namun, stelah tiba ditpt kejadian keriangan yg kami impikan bgai tkubur apabila xde langsung udang yg sudi menjamah umpan kami. Rentetan drpd situasi itu kedengaranlah caci-maki yg berbaur unsur2 melepaskn marah thambur dmulut kami... Keriangan yg kami impikan lebur begitu saje. Beberape jam kemudian, joran ak menunjukkn reaksi yg megambarkn sedikit keriangan. Dgn muke slumber, ak trus jek menarik joran tsebut secara bhati2. Dan...... Hasilnyer....

Nilah udang tsebut, cume satu. Tp ckup utk membuatkn ak tsenyum sinis sambil memandang rakan2 yg lain dgn pnuh riak.

LuV raBBiT

Ni la rupe menatang arnab tsebut...... Ak sbnanye suke kucing, kambing, beruang kutub, gajah, dan pelbagai lg...., tp xtau la knape ak bleh cm beli plak menatang ni. Ble ak da bwk blk bru ak cam tsedar. Nape ak bli menatang ni? Jwpannye mudah.... NTAH! Tp ble dah lme2 ak bela menatang ni, ak cm syg lak... Ak rase pasni ak cm nak bela beruang kutub plak la.

Sepetang bSamA pengerusi EFC segamat.

kat cni la ak dpt ikan toman tsebut!!!???

EFC (educated fishing club) merupakan salah satu kelab memancng yg agak radikal kat segamat ni. Atas sb2 tertentu atau secara xlangsung atau tanpa sengaja ak saje2 la menginterbiu brader ni.... Sbnarnye, xde ape2 faktor pon yg mendesak ak utk menginterbiu brader ni... Cume ak saje jek cm xde keje... Sila ikuti interbiu tsebut:

Ak: Bang, da lame ke mancing? Byk dpt ikan?? (tanye dgn penuh minat serta kagum yg mendalam.)
En. Umar: Blum lg........ (jwb sambil lewa..)
Ak: Da lame ke mancing??
En. Umar: Dah, dari semalam lg. Tp xtau la, ikan xnak mkn la.... (jwb dgn pandangan sinis.)
Ak: Hehe, (gelak xikhlas). Minat mancing yek??
En. Umar: Bole la..., minat.... Ak mmg suke mancing ni.... Sblm ni ad gak dpt kat cni... Semalam baru jek dpt Toman 5kilo....
Ak: Kat cni??? Wah!
En. Umar: Ha'ah, kat cni la.... Smlm ak main casting.... Ni try bottom lak... Dulu cni mmg byk ikan, ramai mancing kt cni. Tp skang ni mcm da kurang lak.... Xtau nape....
Ak: Ooooooo..... Abg pkai stick ape?
En. Umar: Ak pkai ultracast ngan mesin ultracast.... Bole la.... Sblum ni ak penah dpt dekat 8kilo pkai stick ni.. (ckp dgn sambil lewa tp berbau riak.)

2la antara interbiunyer, xde ape yg menarik pon, cume komunikasi kosong antara pemancing jek.... Tp smpai la ak dah nak blk, brader tsebut xde pon dpt ikan... Cm kencing jek....

bespa....

Ak can kagum gile ngan bespa, xtau nape.... Walaupon ak cam xtau bwk bespa, tp ak ttp kagum... Sbnanye xbanyak pon yg ak tau psl vespa ni ak cume kagum jek tgk menatang ni... Ble ak tgk jek vespa ni ak cam nak senyum... Semacam ad suatu perasaan yg membedakan antara bespa ngan moto2 yg lain... Start dri ak perasan penyakit ak ni trus jek ak cri kwn2 yg ade bespa.... klau bole, ak cam nak wat air-brush kat bespa...., dan hasilnyer.... wujud la beberape keping bespa yg bjaya di conteng oleh ak sendiri dgn mgunakan ayat2 berbaur ugutan pd pemilik2 bespa tsebut....

Ni la hasilnye.... Bespa ni bjaye dsiapkn dlm mase 1hari..., dgn bantuan beberape org rakan yg agak setia walaupon kedengaran jua kata2 berbentuk carutan yang amat panjang di bibir mereka.. Tp ak cam xbpe puas ati sbb mase ak bsame ngan bespa ni tlalu singkat sb owner die da nak bwk blk Bangi mase2.... Sedih gle!! Namun setelah disogok dgn beberape bentuk insentif bbentuk wang ringgit dan sedikit keropok twisties, akhirnye ak tewas jua.....

Namun jauh dsudut ati ak masih lg menyimpan niat nk conteng bespa lagi......... Kepade sesape yg bminat untuk anta bespa die utk dconteng oleh ak bole la hubungi ak.... Insentif berupa cikedis twisties dan air redbull amatlah dhargai..

......airsoft gun.....

Ni la antara contoh gambar pestol menennye 2.... Setiap kali borak psl bende ni, mesti ramai org tanye, ape yg menatang ni bleh buat?? Ape kabaikan bende alah ni? Kn bahaye simpan bende ni? Antara komen yg diberikn plak..... 1)Alaaaa membazir jek bli benda2 camni... 2) Baik duit bli pestol menan 2 ko buat beli beskot, bleh gak makan... 3) Ni pestol ni klau tembak org sakit x??? 4) Klau ske main pestol ko jd polis jekla....

Kat cni ak nak bg jwpan pada sume psoalan kt atas....

1) Ape menatang ni bole buat??
*Menatang ni boleh membawa keriangan pade orang yg ske kt pestol menan. Mudahkn??

2) Ape ape kebaikn bende alah ni??
* Kebaikannye ialah, ia dapat memberikan keriangan main ngan pestol menan berbanding dgn menjadi polis yg tpakse bsabung nyawa utk mendapat sdikit keriangan bermain tembak2...

3) Kan bahaye simpan benda ni????
*Kan bahaye simpan pisau kt umah.... Tp nape Kite simpan???

Ni pal Jwpan bg komen2 diatas.......

1)Alaaaa membazir jek bli benda2 camni...
* Alaaa klau da minat... Elok bli pestol menan dri bli pestol btol....

2) Baik duit bli pestol menan 2 ko buat beli beskot, bleh gak makan...
* Klau semua duit buat beli beskot, ko sanggup ke makan beskot hari2??

3) Ni pestol ni klau tembak org sakit x???
* Pestol ni bukan utk buat tembak org ataupon binatang.... Kat kotak die ad 2lis jgn tembak kat org atau binatang....

4) Klau ske main pestol ko jd polis jekla....
*Klau suke mancing kena jd nelayan ke???

2la antara jawapan yg boleh dgunakan...........................
P/s: menyimpan pestol ni adalah salah disisi undang2 M'sia n hukuman die same cm memiliki senjata api... Takutkn???? :)

Dunia stEnciL.......

stencil ni antara benda yg ak suke nak wat.... slalunye time bosan, ni la yg ak wat..... tp skang xlg, sb ak cm slalu lost ngan wat benda yg tah ape2..... Klau la ak msh simpan sume artwork ak yg lame2..... Lgpon skang ni cm da xde da kwn2 yg minat ngan benda2 cmni.... Klau dlu bleh gak 2kar2 artwork pas2 blaja cne nk wt bende alah ni jd lg menarik.....

Stencil ni yg bestnye, kte bleh wat kat mane2.... bole wat kat baju, board, kat ketas, kat coverset moto, pendek kate ka sume pmukaan la.... tp yg jd trend skang ni orang ske wat kat baju.... wat byk2.... 2njuk kt org ramai2..... bia ramai yg kagum.... pas2 jual banyak2....... nanti bleh la dapat duit byk2........ pas2 ble nak duit byk2 kne la save budget cket.... klau nak save budget kne la cu cost plak.... ble da cut cost p4mance pon jd la xbpe nak baik.... bende cmni la yg jdkan scene stencil ni cm sampah kat M'sia....

Politik PlAsTik

Ak ni sbanye antara org yg xbpe ske ble cite psl politik..... Xtau nape... mungkin sbbb ape yg dibuat oleh org politik ni slalunye ad sb n akibat die tsendiri... Pd ak politik ni bukan utk org yg soft... sume benda yg dorg wat mesti ad benda yg tslindung..... ntahla.... Cm plastik gle.... Legasi pmbangunan negara kte sndiri pon disebar dgn media songsang yg pnuh dgn informasi membabi-bute.... segala pkara negatif xditunjukkn dgn telus.... ad yg rakyat xtau....

tp xpela.... yg penting negara kite aman..... kot.... jdge la sndiri....

Politik ni tlalu subjektif utk dbahaskn.... Org yg mencari kbnaran politik ni slalunye end upnye xjd ape..... So, klau korg soft, anda dnasihatkn agar xpyh la nk join.... Ad benda yg lg elok kte xtau....

me, art, gunz, n etc...

Ni la antara kehidupan ak...... kot... ntah la... tp pade ak slagi benda yg ak minat ble jd duit ak on jek... hehe... Tp dr ape yg ak tau sume benda yg kte wat klau ikhlas ble jd duit... tp ak bkn org yg sabo sbnanye..., so kbanyakn benda yg ak wt xikhlas.... Akhirnye ni lah hasil die. cm sampah!!! moralnye, klau wt keje bia la ikhlas.... duit 2 t ble2 bleh dtg sendiri......